


A Human Proposal

by Grotesque (Grotesque_Flower)



Series: Proposals [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Established Relationship, Humanoid!Bill Cipher, M/M, THIS IS SO DUMB AND SHORT AND CHEESY AND IDGAF, There will be two parts, This is so gross and fluffy and i just, a dumb drabble, i will apologize for yeARS, im so sorry i am sO SORRY, later on in life idk when you decide idfc, so ooc... tOO ooc, that i have been losing sleep over jfc this is dumb, this and a... nsfw part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6393373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grotesque_Flower/pseuds/Grotesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is Bill so fidgety at dinner? Come on, this is a double date....</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Human Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> this is dumb i apologize

Dipper sighed for the umpteenth time that evening as he licked the palm of his hand and try to smooth down one persistent fly away curl of his dark hair. Bill hummed cheerfully to himself, which was curious seeing how he usually hated going out on double dates with Mabel and Pacifica. But perhaps it was because he was in his comfort zone adorning his bow tie and pristine vest and over coat, and his white shirt collar was perfectly ironed and the rest wrinkle free. They were going to some dumb fancy restaurant that Dipper didn’t even want to go to because hey, he hated getting in formal attire. It just wasn’t his forte. But Mabel wouldn’t take no for an answer. So here he was, fussing with his hair while he stood in front of the body mirror in his slacks and still untucked shirt.

“Balls!” Dipper blurted out and ruffled up his air out of frustration to start once again from scratch, Bill looked up from where he sat in the spare chair at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“This entire thing is so stupid!” Dipper marched over and grabbed the brush and angrily combed through his hair, “Why did Mabel invite us to go on this dumbass date with her! Pacifica doesn’t even LIKE us!”

“That’s not true.”

“Why couldn’t we go to Applebee’s, or Denny’s, or hell even the Diner would’ve been acceptable! But no, just ‘nooooo’, we had to go to some dumb fancy high-end restaurant that is just going to be full of prissy stuck up pricks that will judge every move you make and laugh if you pick up the wrong fork!”

“Just remember, Pine Tree, when in doubt, start from the outside first,” Bill smiled cheekily over at his angry human.

Dipper narrowed his eyes at him, “Shut up before I smack you with the hair brush.”

“You’re so mean to me, ohh Pine Tree, you wound me so,” Bill sighed dramatically and pulled himself from the chair to walk over to Dipper.

The human grumbled to himself as Bill carefully tamed his dark curls easily. Setting the brush down he offered to help him tuck in his shirt but was swatted away when Dipper did so himself. Though he did help him tie his tie before they made themselves out the door. Bill sat smiling in the passenger seat all the way to Mabel’s place. Pacifica was still curling her long hair while Mabel was already ready and humming along in the kitchen, twirling with her tight-clad feet against the hardwood flooring. Dipper huffed even more as he waited for his ‘sister-in-law’ to hurry up. Mabel kept taking a look at Dipper and then Bill and then back to Dipper and smiling, only a few times giggling.

“What?” Dipper barked at her.

“Nothing!” she smiled widely, “You just look so cute dolled up like that!”

“Yeah, and I’m never doing this again. Next time you invite us out to some place that isn’t acceptable to wear a t-shirt and jeans I am staying home.”

“Aww, come on, you’ll have fun!”

* * *

 

The wait for a table seemed to take forever despite Pacifica making reservations. Leaving Dipper to lean against the fancy wallpaper with folded arms. Bill and Mabel spoke between each other several feet away, he couldn’t hear what they were saying. And Pacifica was as quiet as ever.

Dipper couldn’t sit down fast enough, even though the table was in the middle of the room he didn’t care. Bill took the chair directly across from him and Mabel sat next to him, Pacifica across from her and next to Dipper. It was Dipper who ordered a drink first, surprisingly. It was usually always Bill who had a drink in his hand within the first ten minutes of sitting down at a restaurant. He brought the wine glass to his lips and took a deep gulp of the dark maroon liquid- this was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

“All I’m saying is that if he dies, then I don’t have to wait around for the next episode because I would be done with the show,” Mabel spoke between all of them.

Pacifica smiled at her, “Well, that just means you can get into one of my shows, join the Clone Club, Starshine.”

“Ugh, no way! That show is so confusing, are they twins? Clones? TWIN CLONES!?” her voice was loud enough to get a glance from the table over and she snickered, “I can’t keep track.”

“Mabel, we’re twins,” Dipper pointed out.

“Yeah, but that’s easy. Only two of us, and I’m a chick and you’re a dude, besides,” Mabel ‘pshed’ at him, “who’s ever not me has to be you, it’s simple!”

“Remember when you two dressed up at each other for Summerween that one year and confused the crap out of my parents?” Pacifica reminded them of years ago. They- with the exception of Bill, were still in their teens. High School. The entire day Dipper and Mabel had swapped places, with Dipper getting actual extensions in his hair thanks to Pacifica. She said they wouldn’t buy it if it were just a wig. Wearing one of Mabel’s fluffier sweaters since there was no way he was going to wear a bra and stuff it. And shorts of course with her knee high kitten socks with her sneakers. Mabel had strategically tucked her hair into Dipper’s hat and bound up her chest. Standing in the mirror Dipper covered up his birthmark while Mabel grabbed some makeup and applied a replica to her forehead. But the whole event is a story for another time, I’m just making word count here.

Mabel snorted and Dipper laughed as well, but Bill simply smiled and poked at his plate. It wasn’t unusual for him not to eat, he hardly did, but something was knotting in his stomach that made him feel as though he truly had no appetite.

“Bill, is everything okay?” Dipper spoke up.

“Hm?” the demon looked up from his thoughts to his human across the table, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just thinking it all. Nothing important. Hey! You guys remember that time we got Celestabellebethabelle to give us pony rides around the forest?”

“Oh my God! She was so pissed!” Mabel laughed.

“Hey, a deal is a deal~,” Bill smiled widely and chuckled as he brought his drink to his lips.

* * *

 

It was a good hour or two into the night when Bill felt Mabel tap his foot with hers, and he looked over to see her comforting and encouraging smile. He sighed and slumped in his seat. God, human emotions were dumb… Why did he even make his own human vessel? He hated this, why was he doing this? Wasn’t he trying to kill them years ago? How did he get roped into dinner, roped into dating the very mortal who he set to rip molecule from molecule? How did he get so caught up in his own dumb emotions that he was…. Was.

He felt like laughing, and crying. But nothing came out rather than a feathering feeling in the back of his throat. But he left one hand on the table as he dropped the other under and into his pocket. His heart sunk instantly when he felt nothing. He felt his chest constrict and not in a good way. He felt the panic and anxiety well up in his chest and bubble up in his throat like stomach acid. He sat up straight and inhaled deeply, eyes wide at the table. Oh God, oh God, what an idiot! An all-powerful demon of pure energy and h- oh, wait, he was checking the wrong pocket. Silly Billy. He was checking his left pocket when he had put what he was looking for in his right- he remember because ‘put it in the right pocket because this is right!’, he was so clever.

He waited for Pacifica and Dipper to stop talking. He felt anxious. He felt his slippery intestines knotting together in his torso. Winding and turning and twisting around. He wanted to just take the knife from the table and cut himself open to just untie them all. He watched Dipper through his dark thick lashes. Was it hot in here or was it just the pyro-magical demon abilities he had? He didn’t know…. He felt his face flush. This was dumb. This was so human…. He didn’t like this. But he yearned to do this. His ears rung and he could hear his so-called heart pounding in his chest.

Mabel noticed him, tapping her fingers on the table and waiting for the two across from her to stop talking- geez, when did they get along so much? Finally she cleared her throat, “Hey, Dipper.”

“What?” Dipper stopped and looked over the table at her. Watching as she nudged Bill before he turned his attention to him.

Pacifica slumped back and grabbed her phone, and raised it up. She smiled to herself.

“Bill…” Mabel nudged the demon again.

“R-right!” Bill choked on his words. Here goes nothing. His embarrassing incredibly dumb and pointless nothing, “Sooo, Pine Tree. Pine Tree, Dip, Dip-dot, Dippin’ dot, the Dipping sauce, the D, the mystery man, Dipper Dopper, Dingle Dip, my favorite fleshy, constellation number a on-“

“Bill,” Dipper’s face dropped to an annoyed expression by all the dumb nicknames and so did Bill’s. The demon looked panicked.

“Sorry! Sorry. Just nervous, this is all so dumb- hahaha! Like you said, this entire date is dumb. Damn Mabel and Pacifica to drag us along,” Dipper took note of how he used their actual names, “But hahahaaa, jokes on you! They didn’t plan this date…. It was me….” He laughed nervously and pointed to himself with his free hand, “Drag you along to such an uncomfortable place, that’s me, goofy ol Bill. Oh my God what am I saying, what am I doing I shouldn’t be doing this, this is all so dumb. You know I can bring a man of Trump to his knees bawling like a baby and not blink an eye, but here I am. Shaking I’m so nervous. JESUS! Is this what anxiety is like? Damn, Dipper, I need to give you credit this is fucking awful! Hahahaaa, I guess I can comfort you better next time since I got first time experience!”

Dipper’s eyes narrowed, looking from the rambling demon to his smiling sister and then Pacifica and back, his eyes widened, “Bill I swear to God…”

“Okay, okay, let’s just get this over with! Like a band-aid, quick. Okay. I’m definitely not good at this, hell remember our second date? Yeesh, awful! I’m surprised you let me get this far!” Bill took a deep breath and exhale slowly, “Alright. Look, I’m no good at human things, and you know this. You of all people know this, and probably more than I realize. But I’m _trying_ here. So maybe I’ll get a B for effort. If not, and I cross boundaries… Well, I’ll get the holy water ready! I’ve never really thought about it with a human, I mean I’ve felt things with them but never ever like this. And I know what the feeling is, I’ve felt it before but damn do I hate admitting it. So you better not laugh, because I’m admitting it right now. Let’s just do this a normal, mundane, domesticated, human way, okay?”

Dipper watched as the demon slipped out of his chair and pulled his hand from his pocket, and Dipper’s eyebrows knitted together. His chest felt tight and his nose felt cold, he felt like he was inhaling razors. He stared down at Bill.

“Okay, so this is a dead give away-“

“I’m going to kill you…!!!” Dipper brought his hands up to his face and covered the way his warm tears dripped down over his reddening cheeks, “I’mgoingtokillyoui’mgoingtokillyouisweartoGODBill!”

“At least not in public,” Bill awkwardly laughed, “Mason, Dipper, Pine Tree Pines, I love you very much. To the point beyond human’s understanding and perhaps even my own. So I ask you, will you be mine? By the human definitions and demons, the other’s from dimensions unknown to us both.”

“I hate you so much,” Dipper laughed against his hands, but nodded, “Yes, you dumbass, I can’t believe you, yes”

Bill felt his heart drop, his heart melt into a million pieces and a heavy weight lift from his chest. He felt as though he could breathe again. He smiled, at first shakily and nervous. Before happily and dropping his other knee down to sit on his heels. He heard Mabel squeal.

“See!! I told you he would say yes!” She bounced happily in her seat and grabbed onto Bill’s shoulder when he climbed back into his chair.

Dipper pulled his hands down just enough to glare at Mabel, “Y-y-you, kn-knew?! You asshole!! You both knew you’re all jerks I fucking hate all of you you’re all dead to me!”

He covered his face again and sobbed a laughed- jesus, why was he crying? He felt Bill lean over and tug at his wrist, and he only allowed him to take one while he continued to cover his blushing face. He felt the demon slip the ring onto his finger, kissing his knuckles before he pulled his hand back. He covered his face the entire rest of the night. Even after they paid. Taking Bill’s hand and having him lead the way back to the car, and even trusting him enough to actually drive them home. God damn his head hurt from how much he was crying, _why_ he was even crying he didn’t even know. He didn’t even care. The moment he was lead up the stairs and into the room, he tackled Bill back onto the bed in a tight embrace. Burying his face into him.

“You-!!! I love you so much!!” His cheeks hurt from his smiling.

Bill laughed and hugged him back, getting the human’s- his human’s arms to tighten around him, “I love you too.” God, who knew he could feel this warm. Maybe this is that weird emotion called happiness? Geez, how cheesy, how sappy… He loved it.

**Author's Note:**

> bOOM! -awkward stance like a super hero- rest in piece me because this is duymb and i need to get back into the hang of writing and this was gonna have smut but i thought no let's make it a two part so if people WANT the smut it's optional and it'll all be fluff fight me okay. fight me just punch me right in my face i am so sorry for this....
> 
> GOOD THIS IS SO CHEESY IM SORRY IM gonna cry....


End file.
